


Not a No.

by gelos



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Emotions, Feel-good, First Kiss, Fluff, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Talks About Feelings, Insecure Jaskier | Dandelion, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Jaskier | Dandelion, quiet moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:08:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23786830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gelos/pseuds/gelos
Summary: "Every time Jaskier was halfway to doing something bold and irrational—like confessing his feelings—Geralt’s look would stop him altogetherBut today, oh today. Today is filled with doubt, questioning and the need for more. Just more. More of what life can give him. More happiness. More Geralt. Just more. The intensity of it is burning through him, making him impatient, eager.He breathes in and lets the question slip from his lips."
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 23
Kudos: 240





	Not a No.

**Author's Note:**

> They say practice makes perfect. I'm still on the practice part. 
> 
> This came to me at 3am last night. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy <3.
> 
> **EDIT 25th June:** This fic is now beta'd, thanks to the lovely [aewrose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aewrose/pseuds/aewrose). Thank you so much, Addy, for doing it 😍

“Geralt…”

It’s after midnight. A fireplace burns at the far corner of the bedroom, a crackling and golden light filling it, casting shadows. Jaskier sees the way Geralt's eyes close slowly, his throat working for him to say a low "Hmm" in response as he frequently does. But this time it isn't filled with sleepiness or frustration. Jaskier wonders how many people ever got to see this side of him, a side of fragility and openness, his guard let down.

Jaskier was sitting astride Geralt in a chair by the fireplace. Yes, in his lap. It had been happening for a while, and to be honest, Jaskier couldn’t remember how it started. They were probably drunk on ale and free of all inhibitions. It happening didn’t mean their relationship had evolved in a relevant way, not really, because every time Jaskier was halfway to doing something bold and irrational—like confessing his feelings—Geralt’s look would stop him altogether. The look inspired calm and peace every time. A small smile accompanied by a soft sigh. Jaskier would never disturb such a sight. Not when the witcher's life was full of enough war and death for several lifetimes. So he never spoke. He just let them both enjoy what was being given to them.

But today, oh today. Today is filled with doubt, questioning and the need for more. Just more. More of what life can give him. More happiness. More Geralt. Just more. The intensity of it is burning through him, making him impatient, eager.

Jaskier’s hands slide from Geralt's chest up to his shoulders, resting on each side of Geralt's neck. His thumbs go back and forth stroking the surprisingly soft skin. He breathes in and lets the question slip from his lips.

"What's stopping you?"

It takes a while for Geralt to open his eyes. When he does, Jaskier can see the confusion in them, the subtle (yet not subtle enough for Jaskier to miss it) frowning and narrowing of the eyes.

“What's stopping me from what?"

Jaskier pretends he doesn't feel the weight of Geralt's hands on his waist. He ignores what it does to him.

Thumbs still caressing, he answers, "From letting yourself feel, and from talking about those feelings."

The bard thinks twice about adding a quip, a joke, to make this all light-hearted. He can't. There's a weight on his chest and a feeling in his gut of which he cannot free himself.

“Jaskier…”

Geralt looks at Jaskier. He looks and once again Jaskier can't decipher what he sees in those goldeneyes. Geralt's hands move from his waist to his thighs, and he lowers his head.

"C'mon Geralt. Answer me this."

Jaskier knows he doesn't need to say anything else. Geralt knows him. He knows Jaskier is serious. He knows him well enough to understand he isn't being his usual fun, outgoing, annoying sunny bastard right now, and there’s a reason for that.

"I guess…” Geralt huffs and shakes his head. "After so many years of being taught against it, of not wanting it…” He looks at Jaskier once again, honest and open. Jaskier shudders a bit. "It's hard to change. Only a few people in the whole continent would make me want to change."

Jaskier's heart jumps at the phrase. The little voice in his head telling him not to hope. _Don't you dare hope._

"Who?"

“Jaskier…” Geralt's getting antsy. He stirs in the chair and the wooden floor creaks beneath him. Jaskier is almost afraid he'll get up and remove him from his lap. When he doesn't, Jaskier breathes a little bit easier.

"Too far?"

"You always ask the tough questions.”

"Why would I not?" His voice comes out soft. Softer than he had intended.

"You going to ignore me?" Jaskier continues.

"Don't I always…”

“Geralt…” Jaskier’s hands tug at Geralt's neck, trying to get his attention and succeeding. Geralt’s gaze was once again focused on Jaskier, when just before it was slipping away to the fireplace.

He could say something else. Yet he won't. He knows Geralt looking at him will be enough. _This could go two ways_ , Jaskier thinks. Either Geralt plays along and they have a meaningful conversation, or he ignores him, goes to bed, and the next morning they pretend nothing happened. Jaskier has no idea which is gonna be, cause even though Geralt gets to see through him, the opposite doesn't happen very often.

"What do you want me to say, Jaskier?" Geralt's body moves. His arms wrap around Jaskier, pulling him a bit closer, as if he was saying _I don't like this, but I don't want you to go_.

"The truth. What you feel… Talk to me."

A few more seconds of silence, Jaskier's heart beating fast, body threatening to give in to the anticipation.

"You make me want to give in. You make me want more. More than the life I've already got. For you, I would."

Only Geralt could say so much with so few words. Jaskier wondered if Geralt was really sober. He would never think he would say such things so easily, so openly (he had many times hoped, of course—but to actually think it possible?). He's always honest about his opinions, but rarely about how he feels.

When Jaskier doesn't say anything back and instead only stares, Geralt allows himself a smile.

"And you wonder why I never talk about my feelings. You've turned to stone."

"If only you would talk about them more often, it wouldn't come as such a surprise."

Geralt nods, "Fair enough," smile still on his face, now slightly wider.

"Do you mean it?"

"Do you think I'd lie?"

“No…”

"Then there's your answer."

For some unspoken reason, they both lean forward at the same time, their foreheads connecting. Geralt's fingers go wide and sprawl across Jaskier's back, going up to the bard’s hair. It's the first time they've been this close. It's the first time Jaskier feels the witcher's hands on him this intently, this strong and willing. Only for a second Jaskier lets himself wonder what this would feel like but without clothes. His heartbeat—already quick—skyrockets.

Geralt takes a deep breath, sharing the air between them. _So close. So close._

"What if I want more too, with you?" Jaskier murmurs between their mouths.

There's stillness in the air. Jaskier feels it. It’s as if the Earth’s rotation stopped for a few seconds just to acknowledge what big of a question this is, what a rejection would do, and how much bravery Jaskier gathered to let it out.

Geralt's leans a bit harder on Jaskier's forehead, making a low noise Jaskier can't quite place, tilting his head to the side.

He doesn't answer.

_God, he isn't answering._

_Why isn't he answering._

Then—

Then Geralt's nose nuzzles Jaskier's. Jaskier has only time to breathe in before Geralt's lips are on his. He goes still for a moment, his body waiting for his brain to process the information given to it. Geralt's lips on his, soft and sweet. Geralt's fingertips on his hair, guiding, and five of them back at his waist, tugging.

When Jaskier's brain goes back online, he's giving in to the sensations, and responding keenly. He dives in to the kiss, parting his lips and letting it deepen. His arms encompassGeralt’s neck, hands to his silver hair. There's little space between them. Jaskier likes this…No, he loves it.

For a person who deprives himself of feeling, Geralt is very much obvious when it comes to this type of pleasure. He's as eager here as he is when protecting someone he thinks innocent, as gentle as when he sees and tends to Roach, as skilled as when he kills monsters for coin.

Jaskier could have this for the rest of his mortal life. This and only this, and he would be satisfied.

Forget power and money. Forget respect and fame. This is it.

When they part, breaths mingling together, panting over each other’s mouths, Geralt asks, “Is this good enough of an answer for now?"

Jaskier giggles. "It's not a no…” he smiles big. In Geralt's language that's practically a yes.

"It's not a no…” a dark rich voice follows his, agreeing with a smug look on his face.

Jaskier lets him be smug, thinking that from now on he might as well take the smugness out of his face with a kiss whenever he wants. He doesn't this time, though, and instead just looks at the man in front of him. He examines every inch of his face, hands on his jaw. He has time. He has time to slowly learn a lot more about the witcher. For tonight he's content with closeness and shared looks and sighs. He's content with the way Geralt is looking at him.

This is more. It's more than he ever thought he would have tonight.

Tonight he's content because he got a taste of what more could look like with time. He's content because a kiss is not a no, and in Geralt's language, that's definitely a yes.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos would honestly make my day, pls let me know what you think of this fic <3


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